To Snog, or not to Snog?
by SnogginGodess
Summary: Ron is trying to get Hermoine's attention, but has no clue how to. So, he decides to take Fred and George's advice, which is never a good thing...
1. How to Get a Girl's Attention

(Just some Hermoine/Ron fluff. I wish I owned the characters...but sadly I do not :( Oh, well. I suppose I could steal them...yes...I mean, uh...nothing. I own nothing.)  
  
Ron had been sitting in the Common Room for hours, staring at the ceiling. It was late at night; he knew he should be in bed or at least be finishing his Potions essay, but his mind was elsewhere. He heard somebody walk downstairs. Ron looked up, squinting in the dark. The person turned a light on.   
  
It was Harry, holding a roll of parchment, some ink, and a quill. "Ron, what're you doing?" he asked.  
  
"Thinking," Ron said. "What're you doing?"  
  
"Potion essay," Harry said. "Do you know three major things aconite can be used to make?"  
  
"Nah, I'll ask Hermoine later," Ron said. Harry shrugged, and decided her might as well start a long introduction. He and Ron sat quietly for about five minutes. The only noise heard was the scrathing of Harry's quill against the yellowed parchment.  
  
Ron suddenly cleared his throat. Harry looked up at him. "Uh, Harry?" Ron asked, quietly while blushing furiously.  
  
"Hmmmm?" Harry asked, dipping his quill in ink.  
  
"Well...um...if I wanted to...um...well, let's say um...I wanted to get a girl's...er...attention. What d'you suppose I should do?" Ron focused on the floor as he said this. His face was turning as red a his hair. It was so red, that his freckles were no longer visible.  
  
"What girl?" Harry asked, pushing his glasses up higher on his nose, and raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Any girl in particular," Ron said, lamely.  
  
Harry nodded slowly. "You could tell me who it is, you know." Ron nodded. "Are you going to?" Harry asked, and Ron shook his head no. Harry sighed. "I'm not very good with girls, you know."  
  
"Yeah, but you snogged Cho!" Ron said, his voice raised slightly. "That's more then I've done!"  
  
"So, a while later I managed to screw up on our first date. Really screw up. She won't even look at me now," Harry added. Before Ron could open his mouth to object, Harry quickly said, "Look, I know nothing about girls. You should ask Hermoine."  
  
Ron tried to stop himself from blushing. "Nah," he said, cooly. "I figure she'd just yell at me for thinking about all this instead of doing my Potions essay."  
  
"All right, then," Harry said, "but you should definately ask somebody else. And when you do find out what women want, be sure to tell me."  
  
Ron nodded, smiling. "All right, then."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The next morning, Ron hurriedly scribbled down notes on Potions. It was Friday, he had the afternoon free. Or he would, if he could make it through Divination and Potions.  
  
In Divination, Proffessor Trelawny moaned about how Harry was damned to an early death because the moon and Mars were parrallel. When Ron sniggered, she turned her large, insect-like eyes on him. "My dear, you are doomed as well. Your tea-leaf reading last month revealed a crooked cross. I daresay Potter's bad...aura has affected you."  
  
Ron and Harry had a good laugh over this, but Ron couldn't help but wonder if the old fraud had a point. He was doomed. He was clueless, he'd never figure out girls, and to top it off he had Potions next.   
  
Potions passed, and it wasn't too bad. Snape grimaced at Ron's messy essay with cross-outs, and ink blots. Snape also managed to take off a total of five Gryffindor points, which wasn't really that bad. He assigned a roll of parchment to be written as homework. The topic was "discuss how the weather can affect potion-making." As Ron trudged out of the room, he saw Hermoine run off for Arithmancy. Ron was finished with classes for the day, and with no Hermoine to give him answers, there was no point in even trying the essay.   
  
He decided to head to the library. He was flipping idly through a book about Potions, not really paying attention, when he heard a triumphant voice say, "I AM right, then. See, I told you we could substitute lacewings for asphodel root, if we double the amount of dandelion stalk."  
  
Ron stood up. He followed the voice until he found Fred and George crouched behind a bookcase, pouring over a book titled "D.I.Y Candies". "What're you doing?" Ron asked them.  
  
Their heads snapped up. "Whatever it is we're doing, you're not telling Mum," George growled. Fred was trying to hide the book behind his back.  
  
"Whatever," Ron said. "Look, I need your help." His face was turning red again.  
  
"What?" Fred asked amazed. "You want US to help?"  
  
"Look, Fred," George pointed. "He's blushing!"  
  
"Shuddup," Ron growled. "Look, if I um...wanted a girl...any girl in particular...what would I have to do to get her to...uh...notice me?"  
  
"Be incrediably direct," Fred said.  
  
"Yeah," George agreed. "Girls can be a bit dense when you drop all the subtle hints."  
  
"Nah, I don't think that'd work," Ron mumbled. "I'd make an idiot of myself."  
  
"You're already a big, bloody git," George snorted.  
  
"And what's more is my method works," Fred said, cockily.  
  
"Prove it," Ron said.  
  
"All right," Fred shrugged. He looked across the library. "Oy! Angelina! C'mere!"  
  
Angelina rolled her eyes and walked over, giggling. "What Fred? I'm not testing any more of your stupid candy. Last time I ate it, fire came out of my nose."  
  
"Nah, I just wanted to show you something," Fred said, making sure Ron was watching.  
  
"Hmmmm?" she asked, tapping her foot.  
  
"This," Fred said. And then he snogged her. She giggled when he finished.  
  
"You done?" she asked.  
  
"Suppose so," Fred said.  
  
"All right," Angelina said, and before leaving she snogged Fred again.  
  
Ron watched Angelina walk off. Fred had made it seem so...simple. But he seriously doubted HE could do that. Just walk up to Herm-...uh...a girl and snog her? Well, he could always try. "Hey, Fred, George?" Ron asked before leaving.  
  
"What?" both asked in unison.  
  
"D'you know how to do a memory charm if I mess this up?"  
  
(A/N: very short, but my mom is bothering me, yelling at me to hurry, so I'll add the rest later. Enjoy!!) 


	2. A Second Opinion

Ron's palms were sweating as he made his way back to the Common Room. "Okay," he mumbled. "I'll just snog her. Ughh, like I have the nerve to just go up and snog her. I need a second opinion and a second option, too." He walked up to the Fat Lady. "Wimblewomble," Ron said, and she swung open. He looked aroung the Common Room, Ginny and Harry were the only ones there.  
  
"Hey, Ginny?" Ron asked.  
  
"What?" she asked, closing her book entitled "Super Seekers".  
  
"Well...ah...I had a discussion with Fred and George," Ron started, as Ginny nodded, looking curious. "And...um...well....ah..," Ron searched for the right words.  
  
"Spit it out, Ron!" Ginny said.  
  
"What'd you say if I just came up and snogged you?" Ron blurted out, before realizing he had just said he wanted to snog his own sister.  
  
Harry began to laugh, and Ginny stared at Ron, eyes wide. "I'd say that that would be incest Ron," she said, seriously. "I'd be disgusted."   
  
"No," Ron said, hastily. "Let's say a boy that is NOT me came up and just snogged you, right out of the blue. Would you like it? Or, should I say, if I just snogged somebody who most certainly is NOT you, would she like it?"  
  
"Well," Ginny said. "If a certain somebody snogged me, I'd be quiet happy. And I guess it would depend on who you snogged."  
  
"Fred and George said to be direct 'cause girls don't understand subtle hints," Ron said. Harry was still laughing, hiding behind his Potions book, but he did listen to this bit of advice.  
  
"Subtle hints?" Ginny scoffed. "Like belching? Right. We don't pick up on certain 'subtle hints' because they're too...gross or you're just too bad at dropping them."  
  
"Well, how would I get a girl's attention, then?" Ron asked, impatiently. Harry placed his book down, and added, "Yeah, Ginny, how could we?"  
  
"Well, I for one, would enjoy something romantic. Like, sneaking outside to look at the stars, and then slowly moving in to snog me, as the sun came up," she said, wistfully.  
  
"Right, and cheesy music would play in the background, too, huh?" Ron asked, raising an eyebrow. "So I can either just snog a girl, or be hopelessly romantic. I mean, disgustingly romantic, too."  
  
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Look, get to know the girl. What she likes and stuff like that. Once you know her, do something you think would please her. For example, the snogging may work with somebody incrediably outgoing. Like Angelina and Fred. Oh, Ron I know they love each other," she said, as she noticed the amazed look on his face. "The romantic stuff would work with me, but it wouldn't work with somebody like Pansy Parkinson."  
  
"Ewwww," Harry and Ron groaned in unison.  
  
"Well, okay, then thanks," Ron said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I think I'll go...uh...for a walk."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
'What would she like?' Ron wondered, strolling the corridors. 'Something just for her...not too cheesy romantic...just nice. Nothing too direct...but it has to be a little direct...Hmmmmm,' Ron thought. There were so many possibilities, but he wouldn't try just any of them.   
  
He walked aimlessly, in no particular direction for about half an hour. Then, it hit him. "I've got it!" he said outloud, causing two Hufflepuffs to stare at him as though he were crazy. "It's brilliant!" he said, before turning and practically running back to the Common Room. 


	3. The Brilliant Plan

(Disclaimer: You know! JESUS! I OWN NOTHING! Stop interrogating me *whimper*. Muahahaha)  
  
(A/N: WOW I got a lot of reviews. I think I'll write short, fluffy stuff more often! And englishmun- thank you. I'm a stupid American pretending to be British...but I usually have no clue what I'm talking about! ;) So yes, I will remember "pull". But I believe I'll keep my title. As I said, as a total idiot, it's the best I could come up with. Thank you thank you thank you! ;) Yay!)  
  
"Books," Ron said, breathlessly. "That's the ticket right there."  
  
"Dearie, I know you're a Gryffindor, but 'books' isn't the password. Sorry, but I can't let you in," the Fat Lady said, rolling her painted eyes.  
  
"What? Oh, sorry. Uh... Wimblewomble," Ron said. The Fat Lady swung open, and Ron raced in. "Harry!" he called out. "Harry I've GOT IT!"   
  
The Common Room was empty. Well, all except for Crookshanks, and a few first years, who looked at him as though he were barking mad. Ron rolled his eyes, and raced up the spiral staircase; the cat ran after him, nipping at his ankles and purring. "Geroff, Crookshanks," Ron complained, opening the door with a silver number "5" embossed on it. Harry was no where to be found. "Well," Ron said to Crookshanks, who was regarding him with big yellow eyes, "I guess I'll have to do this myself, huh?" Crookshanks responded by pouncing on his feet, and biting his shoelaces.  
  
"Why're you so friendly all of a sudden?" Ron grumbled, shaking his leg. "If you were any help at all you'd either find Harry or steal Hermoine's bag for me-," he stopped suddenly. He had said the "H" word out loud. What if somebody heard him? What if somebody found out. "What?" he snapped at the cat who was glaring at him. "Yeah, I wanna pull with her!" The cat turned and walked down the stairs, tail swishing.  
  
Ron sat on his bed. There was no way he could be a romantic, or just go up and snog Hermoine. There had to be another way. He placed his head in his hands, and tried to think. Where was Harry? Where was Hermoine? Hopefully in the library, far away, so Ron could try and figure something out. If only he could get to the girls' dormitories. Then he could rummage through her trunk of books...  
  
His thoughts were interrupted when something large and furry tackled him from behind, meowing fiercely.  
  
"STUPID cat!" Ron yelped. "Why'd you DO that?" He rubbed his head furiously. Crookshanks ambled over, and spit something into his lap. Ron, expecting the worst, like a half-eaten spider, backed up, and yelled, "Yuck!"   
  
The cat glared at him and meowed again. Ron looked at the object. "A book!" Ron said, delighted. "You ARE a smart cat, I s'pose Sirius was right about that, then." Crookshanks purred, rubbing up against Ron's leg. "All right, don't get too friendly with me," Ron said, shaking the cat off.  
  
Now he had the book. Phase one of his plan was completed. "A spell," Ron mumbled. "Something like Tom Riddle's diary. Only not so scary."  
  
"Talk to yourself often?" a voice asked. Fred was standing in the doorway, looking smug.  
  
"Pull with 'your girl' yet?" George asked.  
  
"No, I'm being romantic," Ron said. "Ginny said that was what girls like, and as Ginny is a girl and all, I took her advice." He held up the leather book, entitled 'Charming Charms'.  
  
"A charm? A looooooove one?" Fred asked.  
  
"Or a memory one, in case you screw up?" George asked.  
  
"Neither. I'm...uh...writing something."  
  
"Now, Fred, who could the girl be?" George asked, rubbing his forehead in a stupified manner.  
  
"Dunno, somebody who is studious and reads," Fred said, stroking his chin. "Hmmmm?"  
  
"It couldn't be Granger, now, could it?" George asked.  
  
"Nah, like she'd ever read a book!" Fred said sarcastically. Ron was turning a violent shade of read.   
  
"Go away!" Ron said. "I'm concentrating."  
  
"Aw, c'mon Ickle Ronniekins," George said.  
  
"WE want to help our widdle bwother," Fred added.  
  
"And I want to get work done and I will tell Mum you've been selling your candy around school again. I might say you tricked some first and second years, who are in a coma now," Ron snapped.  
  
Both twins turned white, and backed out the door. Ron rolled his eyes. He eyed the book. A Charm book. He flicked to a dog-eared page. The next charm was "Wingardium Leviosa". So he could definately erase that page. He grabbed his bag, and pulled out "Ernie's Erase Everything!" eraser, and rubbed it over the page. Soon it was clean.   
  
Ron blew the eraser dust off the page, and grabbed a pen. He began to write furiously. He was very careful to not make any mistakes, he didn't want this to look like his Potions essay had. After he had filled a page, he reread his work. It was dark now, and he could hear people laughing in the Common Room. "Okay," he said, taking a breath. "I hope this works. Clearoisia!" His wand made a cracking noise, but the word remained on the page, clear as ever.  
  
Ron sat back down. He had no clue what to do now. His plan had backfired. He had wanted to clear the page, and when Hermoine read it, the words would slowly form, letter by letter. Ron supposed he could just have her read this, but the other way had sounded so much cooler.  
  
"Ronniekins?" Fred's voice called.  
  
"How's your love letter?" George asked, sticking his head in the door.  
  
"Fred! George! You CAN help!" Ron said excitedly. "Look, you asked Sirius how he made the Marauder's Map, right?" Both twins nodded. "Great! How can I make these words dissappear, then reappear when er...the girl opens this?"  
  
Fred and George both grabbed for their wands. "What's the incantation? I'll do it," Ron said, hastily.  
  
"Solemorious," both twins said, in unison.  
  
"Solemorious," Ron said, tapping the page. The words slowly faded, until a blank page was left. "Thanks," Ron said to his brothers.  
  
"Yeah," Fred said, waving a hand. "Have you seen Ginny by any chance?"  
  
"Noooo," Ron said slowly.  
  
"How 'bout Harry, then?" George asked.  
  
"Nooo," Ron said again. "Wait-," he started, and then began laughing.  
  
"What?" the twins asked.  
  
"I'll bet they're looking at the stars and snogging," Ron said, still laughing.  
  
The twins looked a bit bewildered. "Okay, then," George said, and both hurried out of the room.   
  
"Oy, Crookshanks! C'mere!" Ron said. The cat shot out from under Neville's bed. "Get this to Hermoine, okay?" Ron asked, holding the book out. The cat picked the book up. "Good cat," Ron smiled. "I'll just stay up here, then. Go on!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Oh, Crookshanks! Did you steal my book again?" Hermoine asked, patting his head. "Silly cat." She opened it up, and turned to the page she had marked. She began to read...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Harry, this is so pretty," Ginny said, a little breathlessly. "I've always wanted to just lay out here and look at the stars."  
  
"Yeah, it's nice," Harry said, a bit awkwardly.   
  
Ginny placed her head against his shoulder. Harry grabbed her hand and held it. They had wrapped the Invisiblilty Cloak around themselves, and were sitting, watching the stars.   
  
"Ginny?" Harry asked, sounding very nervous.  
  
"Hmmmm?" She asked, snuggling a bit closer.  
  
Harry leaned in slowly, and kissed her. Ginny kissed him back. Harry was a bit surprised, he never thought he would have the nerve to just kiss Ginny like that.  
  
When they stopped, Ginny smiled. "All we need is cheesy music now, huh?" Harry smiled, and kissed her again.  
  
(A/N: YAY! Stay tuned for the next chapter! :-D ) 


	4. Ron's Letter

(disclaimer: took me some time...but here it is! Once again, I own nothing.)  
  
Hermoine blinked as the silvery ribbons forming in her book spelled out "Dear Hermione." What sort of trick was this? she wondered. She watched, amazed, as the ribbons continued to form words.   
  
"Dear Hermione," the book read. "There is something I've wanted to tell you for a very long time. I couldn't do it in person, so I decided to write you a letter. You make me feel...well, I can't even really describe it. You make me feel...good, I suppose. Sometimes, when I'm around you I get lightheaded.   
  
You're an amazing person. You're smart, and beautiful, and you're a great friend. You're so nice to everyone. Well, not so much to those skeevy Slytherins, but they deserve it. (Hermione giggled feebly at this point.) See, the thing is, you're practically perfect. You're way too good for me. You would never ever be interested in a guy like me. I tell myself I'm being pathetic, but I just can't stop thinking about you. You're always on my mind. But you're just to good for me."  
  
The word stopped forming for a moment. Hermione sat there, dumbstruck. Wait until she told Harry and Ron about this! They'd help her figure out who was in love with her! She shook her head slowly. What if this was just some dumb joke? She stopped musing over how horrible that would be when words began to slowly form on the paper again.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Harry smiled to himself as Ginny curled up next to him. She sighed, and moved in closer.  
  
"Are you cold?" he asked her.  
  
"A little," she said, her nose slightly pink.  
  
"Want to go inside?" Harry asked, wrapping an arm around her.  
  
"No. I want to stay out with you. Away from everybody else," she said. She then blushed, and whispered, "I wish we could stay like this forever." She bit her lip. She couldn't believe she had said that! Harry might think she was some kind of freak. A huge, freak.  
  
Her fears vanished when he kissed her forehead and whispered, "Me too."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Hermione," the letter continued, "you're amazing. I've never felt this way about anybody before. I love you. That's right. LOVE you. I want to be near you all the time. When I'm with you I never want to leave. I feel so strongly about you, and I spend every day thinking about how great it would be if you loved me, too. I toss and turn at night, trying to figure out if I should confess to you or not. And Hermione, even if you don't love me, I don't think I can ever stop loving you."  
  
Hemione's breath caught in her throat, as she waited for a signature to appear.  
  
After what seemed like an hour, the letters "L", "O", "V", and "E" appeared. Then, underneath that, in very messy yet familiar scrawl appeared the name "Ron." 


	5. The Stupid Plan Involving a Timeturner

"Ron?" Hermione gasped, out loud. "Ron WEASLEY?" It was a joke, she decided. A horrible joke. "I'll kill him," she muttered. "The jerk! Getting my hopes up and then...," her vioce trailed off. She looked around, and noticed that a great deal of first and third years were staring at her. She blushed, rolled the letter up, and placed it in her bag. Then, she shook her head, and walked slowly up to the girl's dormitories. She wondered why Ron would play a joke like that. And, she wondered if he knew...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"She didn't say anything," Ron said, glumly. "I know she read it. She gave me a dirty look." He spooned oatmeal into his mouth, while keeping his eyes on Hermione. She was whispering to Parvati, who was sympathetically patting Hermione's arm.  
  
Harry tried to look sorry for Ron. However, he was too elated. Ginny was sitting with her friends, and probably giving them a play-by-play account of what had happened, but he didn't care. She looked over at him and smiled. He smiled back, and waved.  
  
"Harry?" Ron asked. "Are you listening?" Ron rubbed the back of his neck, nervously, as Hermione glanced up, turned very red, and returned to her toast.  
  
"Yeah, too bad," Harry said, not looking at Ron. "Maybe the book was a bad idea?"  
  
"You said it was a good idea a few minutes ago!"  
  
"Ron, keep your voice down," Harry said, as Hermione's head snapped up again.  
  
"Ask her about it," Ron said. "Be subtle."  
  
"'Subtle' how, Ron?" Harry asked. "Gee, Hermione did Ron happen to profess his love for you? Do you love him back? No? Okay then!" He rolled his eyes, as Ron turned slightly green. "Don't think that'll work."  
  
Ron smiled weakly. "I need a memory charm or a time turner." Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in his head. "Time turner!" He jumped up. "Be back later, Harry!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Where's Ron." Hermione said it like a statement, not a question, Harry noted. He was kind of wondering that himself. Transfiguration would be starting soon.  
  
"Uh, dunno," Harry said, uncomfortably. "Dorm, I guess."  
  
"He played a horrible trick on me," Hermione said. She took a deep breath. "He wrote a horrible letter, telling me how much he 'loved' me."  
  
"Uh, Hermione, I don't think it was a joke," Harry said, slowly. Hermione's head snapped up, and she looked at Harry, wide-eyed.  
  
"Really?" she squeaked.  
  
"Uh, yeah," Harry said, concentrating on his feet.   
  
"I....I...I treated him horribly!" Hermione said loudly. She drew in a sharp breath. "We have to find him."  
  
"Why?" Harry asked. "Do you feel the same way?"  
  
Hemione turned a violent shade of red. "What kind of question is that?"  
  
Harry smiled slowly. "Ok, Hermione. Let's go find him."  
  
"What's the last thing he said to you?"  
  
"Uh...," Harry rubbed his chin, deep in thought. "Something about needing a timeturner to set this right again."  
  
"Timeturner?" Hermione squeaked, hand flying into her bag. "Mine's gone. Oh, God! What's the idiot done?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"All right," Ron said, to no one in particular. "Let's say about five turns." He quickly flipped the time turner over...  
  
(A/N: Oh, Ronniekins, you're so silly. I wanted this story to go on and on and on, so I decided to throw a curve. Ron thinks Hermione is mad, and the prat is going to screw everything up! But, alas, we still love him anyway!) 


End file.
